3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
