what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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