look no pants
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
