told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I party with great urgency now.
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