He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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