Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
