The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
