An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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