I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
