apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
