Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
