He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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