508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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