Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
