I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
