Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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