There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
