At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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