i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize