you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
