Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
