Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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