Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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