Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
