I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I love you. Go after that dick
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
