ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
