Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I want to have your abortion
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
