The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
