seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
