This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
