im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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