i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
