Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
