party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The best revenge is premature balding
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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