how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
