it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
