I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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