Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I deserve this hangover.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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