That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
