"it" just moved
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
