I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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