my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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