After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
