you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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