I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
do nipples grow back?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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