you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
