True but thats because hes a fetus.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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