I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
