Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
