Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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