You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
