my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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