Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
