Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
