I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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