take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize