I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
