Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize