We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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