You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize