I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
