When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just want to make out with him forever
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
