is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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