I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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